I often feel like my experience with motherhood and life is like a big game of Tetris. With geometric shapes falling out of the sky, it's my responsibility to make sure they land in their proper place and stack in the most efficient manner. It's fun in the beginner levels, rarely are any shapes misplaced and its easy to "clear a line," making sure the matrix never even fills half way. But as the levels begin to advance, the game gets harder. More and more shapes fall unguided and soon they stack up, out of place. Those neglected shapes are soon outweighing, by far, the ones I am able to get a hold of to place intentionally.
Some of the labels I give my Tetris shapes could be routines, teaching moments, family dinner, housework, uplifting others, education, and the list can go on. When too many shapes begin to pile up, the stack can quickly get too close to the top. Sometimes I feel like I may as well just quit trying, because I will lose no matter what I do. At times like these I need to change my intent from having everything perfect to being in survival mode--merely avoiding "game over." An optimistic mind remembers that the game can change with just a couple right moves. Before I know it, I "clear a line" or two and things are manageable again.
When I got pregnant with my third child, I decided that I wanted to have an all natural birth. To help me through my birthing time, I learned to use self-hypnosis. In my training program there was a particular article that stuck with me through my baby's birth and in life ever since. The article cautioned that many people question whether or not they will be "prepared enough" or if the "hypnosis will be strong enough" when things progress to the most difficult point. The article advised that when those doubts creep in, instead of asking the pessimistic question, "What if I didn't prepare enough? or "What if I'm not really in hypnosis?" ask yourself this more optimistic question, "What if I HAVE done enough?"
In the back of my mind I constantly have questions like these: Do I have enough "I love you rituals" with my children? Will the responsibilities I have given my children be enough to teach them to be workers and take ownership in their lives? Am I providing my children with the experiences they need to grow in all facets of life? What if I'm not seeing an opportunity or a need in one of my children? Do I allow too much time for things of lesser priority? Of course, there is always room for improvement, but I can spiral into a feeling of hopelessness if I permit myself to answer these questions negatively, believing that I am failing.
Instead I combat these thoughts with the one question, "What if the things I am doing ARE enough?" Then I begin thinking of my efforts, my feelings for my children, the few shapes that I AM able to get a solid hold of and put in place before they fall, and I cling to hope. As I do this, I find myself taking courage to keep trying and refusing to let myself get discouraged and overwhelmed.
Depression is growing among our society at a high rate. Even children are being affected by depression like never before. Dr. Martin Seligman, author of Learned Optimism and The Optimistic Child, has most often found the cause of depression to be a pessimistic thought pattern. He suggests that optimism is the key component in fighting off depression. Optimism begins with our beliefs about ourselves and the world around us--and it can be learned.
Optimism is stifled when we see everything in life through eyes of "permanence." Things change, often for the better. Dr. Seligman's research shows that when thinking of less than perfect situations in life, using words like "today, sometimes, and lately" instead of "always and never" set up a platform for positive thinking and the motivation to begin moving in a more desirable direction to improve your life. Looking at less than ideal factors in life as changeable can give us motivation to do and to try.
Motherhood is very demanding. Many women would consider it the refiner's fire. I firmly believe that most mothers do the very best they know how. I also believe that every effort counts. Great and wonderful things happen because of small and simple things. No mother is perfect. Each of us can only give what we know to be our very best and hold to the idea that it WILL be enough.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Why does it have to be so painful?
In the history of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, many early saints were treated with brutality and injustice. After being repeatedly "exterminated" from several locations in the East (New York, Missouri, Illinois), the group of Latter Day Saints made a large exodus to the West. No one knew where they were going to end up, but after more than 1000 miles Brigham Young, the current prophet, announced "This is the place" as they looked down from the mountains into the dessert valley of the Great Salt Lake.
Some saints could afford to buy a wagon, team of oxen and supplies to make the slow journey. Many saints did not have the money. They made wooden handcarts just big enough to fit the bare necessities for such a journey. The west bound saints traveled in companies. Two well known companies were called the "Martin and the Willie Handcart Companies." These companies are well known because most members had traveled by boat from Scotland and England to the East coast, then by train to Iowa, and then built their handcarts to begin their journey by foot to the new found Valley. These particular saints left too late in the year. Arriving in Wyoming in October, winter hit early. The saints had to cross frozen rivers and walk through blizzarding snow and wind. They were not prepared for winter. They did not have coats, enough blankets, and their shoes were worn out. In fact by that point in the journey, some walked with only rags on their feet, leaving foot prints of blood in the snow. A great number of the companies died. Eventually the rest set up camp and resigned themselves to death also. Brigham Young, already in the Salt Lake Valley, got word of the situation and sent out rescue teams. The saints were rescued and brought to the valley.
Here is my question: "If Heavenly Father is an all powerful God who loves his children, why didn't he stop the storms while his faithful, obedient disciples completed their journey?"
In the Book of Mormon we read in the very beginning the account of Nephi and his family. After leaving all of their riches (and they were "well to do" in Jerusalem), journeying in the wilderness and living as nomads in tents, suffering all kinds of hardship, the Lord commanded Nephi and his brothers to go back to Jerusalem to get the brass plates on which the teachings of the Lord were engraven. The problem was that Laban had possession of the plates and he was a very evil and powerful man. It took Nephi a long journey back, two failed attempts, a beating by stick from his brothers and a visitation from an Angel before he was able to attain the brass plates.
Here is my next question: "Nephi was a humble prophet of God, obeying the commandments in every way...Why did Heavenly Father allow so much hardship and trial to a man so righteous?"
There are so many examples of righteous people enduring unimaginable and horrific experiences. The Latter Saint Pioneers at Farr West, Joseph Smith, Alma & Amulek, to name a few.
The overall question is why does Heavenly Father allow bad things to happen to good people?
"For the Lord suffereth the righteous to be slain that his justice and judgment may come upon the wicked; therefore ye need not suppose that the righteous are lost because they are slain; but behold, they do enter into the rest of the Lord their God." Alma 60:13
Eve partook of the forbidden fruit knowing that having a "mortal experience" of hunger, pain, and sorrow would only make known unto us the joy, happiness, and love that we would otherwise never know. This is the purpose of the "mortal experience."
"For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my first-born in the wilderness, righteousness could not be broutght to pass, enither wickendness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compond in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nore incorruption, happiness nor miser, neither sense nor sensibility. 2 ne 2:11
Kent F. Richards of the Quorum of the Seventy gave a talk in the Spring 2011 General Conference titled "The Atonement Covers All Pain." The following are excerpts from this talk, but I highly recommend reading the full version.
* Elder Orson F. Whitney wrote: “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. … It is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire.”1
* Much of our suffering is not necessarily our fault. Unexpected events, contradicting or disappointing circumstances, interrupting illness, and even death surround us and penetrate our mortal experience. Additionally, we may suffer afflictions because of the actions of others.3 Lehi noted that Jacob had “suffered … much sorrow, because of the rudeness of [his] brethren.”4 Opposition is part of Heavenly Father’s plan of happiness. We all encounter enough to bring us to an awareness of our Father’s love and of our need for the Savior’s help.
I'll close this essay with one of my favorite stories:
Some saints could afford to buy a wagon, team of oxen and supplies to make the slow journey. Many saints did not have the money. They made wooden handcarts just big enough to fit the bare necessities for such a journey. The west bound saints traveled in companies. Two well known companies were called the "Martin and the Willie Handcart Companies." These companies are well known because most members had traveled by boat from Scotland and England to the East coast, then by train to Iowa, and then built their handcarts to begin their journey by foot to the new found Valley. These particular saints left too late in the year. Arriving in Wyoming in October, winter hit early. The saints had to cross frozen rivers and walk through blizzarding snow and wind. They were not prepared for winter. They did not have coats, enough blankets, and their shoes were worn out. In fact by that point in the journey, some walked with only rags on their feet, leaving foot prints of blood in the snow. A great number of the companies died. Eventually the rest set up camp and resigned themselves to death also. Brigham Young, already in the Salt Lake Valley, got word of the situation and sent out rescue teams. The saints were rescued and brought to the valley.
Here is my question: "If Heavenly Father is an all powerful God who loves his children, why didn't he stop the storms while his faithful, obedient disciples completed their journey?"
In the Book of Mormon we read in the very beginning the account of Nephi and his family. After leaving all of their riches (and they were "well to do" in Jerusalem), journeying in the wilderness and living as nomads in tents, suffering all kinds of hardship, the Lord commanded Nephi and his brothers to go back to Jerusalem to get the brass plates on which the teachings of the Lord were engraven. The problem was that Laban had possession of the plates and he was a very evil and powerful man. It took Nephi a long journey back, two failed attempts, a beating by stick from his brothers and a visitation from an Angel before he was able to attain the brass plates.
Here is my next question: "Nephi was a humble prophet of God, obeying the commandments in every way...Why did Heavenly Father allow so much hardship and trial to a man so righteous?"
There are so many examples of righteous people enduring unimaginable and horrific experiences. The Latter Saint Pioneers at Farr West, Joseph Smith, Alma & Amulek, to name a few.
The overall question is why does Heavenly Father allow bad things to happen to good people?
"For the Lord suffereth the righteous to be slain that his justice and judgment may come upon the wicked; therefore ye need not suppose that the righteous are lost because they are slain; but behold, they do enter into the rest of the Lord their God." Alma 60:13
Eve partook of the forbidden fruit knowing that having a "mortal experience" of hunger, pain, and sorrow would only make known unto us the joy, happiness, and love that we would otherwise never know. This is the purpose of the "mortal experience."
"For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my first-born in the wilderness, righteousness could not be broutght to pass, enither wickendness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compond in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nore incorruption, happiness nor miser, neither sense nor sensibility. 2 ne 2:11
Kent F. Richards of the Quorum of the Seventy gave a talk in the Spring 2011 General Conference titled "The Atonement Covers All Pain." The following are excerpts from this talk, but I highly recommend reading the full version.
* Elder Orson F. Whitney wrote: “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. … It is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire.”1
* Much of our suffering is not necessarily our fault. Unexpected events, contradicting or disappointing circumstances, interrupting illness, and even death surround us and penetrate our mortal experience. Additionally, we may suffer afflictions because of the actions of others.3 Lehi noted that Jacob had “suffered … much sorrow, because of the rudeness of [his] brethren.”4 Opposition is part of Heavenly Father’s plan of happiness. We all encounter enough to bring us to an awareness of our Father’s love and of our need for the Savior’s help.
I'll close this essay with one of my favorite stories:
THE SILVERSMITH
Some time ago, a few ladies met to study the scriptures. While reading the third chapter of Malachi, they came upon a remarkable expression in the third verse:
"And He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver" (Malachi 3:3).
One lady decided to visit a silversmith, and report to the others on what he said about the subject.
She went accordingly, and without telling him the reason for her visit, begged the silversmith to tell her about the process of refining silver. After he had fully described it to her, she asked, "Sir, do you sit while the work of refining is going on?"
"Oh, yes ma'am," replied the silversmith; "I must sit and watch the furnace constantly, for, if the time necessary for refining is exceeded in the slightest degree, the silver will be injured."
The lady at once saw the beauty and comfort of the expression, "He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."
God sees it necessary to put His children into the furnace; but His eye is steadily intent on the work of purifying, and His wisdom and love are both engaged in the best manner for us. Our trials do not come at random, and He will not let us be tested beyond what we can endure.
Before she left, the lady asked one final question, "How do you know when the process is complete?"
"That's quite simple," replied the silversmith. "When I can see my own image in the silver, the refining process is finished."
-Author Unknown
"And He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver" (Malachi 3:3).
One lady decided to visit a silversmith, and report to the others on what he said about the subject.
She went accordingly, and without telling him the reason for her visit, begged the silversmith to tell her about the process of refining silver. After he had fully described it to her, she asked, "Sir, do you sit while the work of refining is going on?"
"Oh, yes ma'am," replied the silversmith; "I must sit and watch the furnace constantly, for, if the time necessary for refining is exceeded in the slightest degree, the silver will be injured."
The lady at once saw the beauty and comfort of the expression, "He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."
God sees it necessary to put His children into the furnace; but His eye is steadily intent on the work of purifying, and His wisdom and love are both engaged in the best manner for us. Our trials do not come at random, and He will not let us be tested beyond what we can endure.
Before she left, the lady asked one final question, "How do you know when the process is complete?"
"That's quite simple," replied the silversmith. "When I can see my own image in the silver, the refining process is finished."
-Author Unknown
Monday, July 25, 2011
TRADITIONS
How many times do you have to do something before it becomes an official tradition? I LOVE TRADITIONS! If you don't love traditions, seriously, something is wrong (you've probably been doing them wrong, or not at all)! Most traditions seem to happen around the holidays. Everybody loves Christmas and many people have different traditions around that time. On Christmas Eve my family has two main traditions. With my parents, we take all of our old Christmas cards that have been sent to us and cut out the pictures, gluing them to large sheets of construction paper for placemats to eat our traditional quiche (made by my dad) and the next day's Christmas feast with ham, scalloped potatoes, and strawberry pretzel salad. After we finish Christmas Eve dinner with my parents, we go spend a few hours with my husband's side of the family. Second dinner at Great Grandma's house with lots of cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. I love that too! I also love second dinner. Good food=good tradition :) We play a few games, open presents, chat. There are a pretty good number of us packed into a little farm house nestled in the snow. Christmas is wonderful. What a warm little picture in my mind, but it's July right now. So:
The Fourth of July is just as exciting to me as Christmas! A lot of people think I'm weird, because a lot of people don't do anything big for the fourth. That is okay, but I like my Fourth of July big! Growing up in Vancouver, WA the firework show used to be "The biggest West of the Mississippi!" But funding has gone down and the firework show has dwindled a little, but it's still worth going!!! I am going to speak in past tense as I talk about this because my family now all lives in the Idaho/Utah area. Everybody came from all around the Portland, OR/Vancouver metropolitan area to watch. We would put out blankets in the Fort Vancouver Field on Officer's Row. There would be thousands and thousands of people. We always went early in the afternoon to stake out a spot. My parents were not die hards (some would think we were). We never got shade because they were not willing to go at 9 am. We had friends who did. The atmosphere was full of the grand stand live music bands, craft booths, greasy, yummy fair food (which we never got-too expensive. We brought in a picnic), sky divers with brightly colored parachutes, airplanes writing messages in the air (note: I think that would be so romantic. My husband should do that for me someday), card games, brownies, friends and family. You can not get close parking. We just always planned on lugging a bunch of stuff in at least a mile and packing it all out (chairs, blankets, coolers, umbrellas, coats for night time, etc.).
SIDE NOTE FOR MEMORY LANE: One year my parents bought this really long piece of pvc pipe and spray painted it red, white, and blue. We stuck it in the ground so our friends and family could find us as they came later in the evening. I have such a vivid memory of when the firework show was over. The mass of people were all moving in one direction. We children are waiting for our parents to pack everything up before we begin our journey out. It's like standing still in a river with a current. A tall guy walks by and just grasps the pole and takes it with him. It's gone. I quickly bring it to my dad's attention. My brothers and I are thinking, "Go get it back, Dad!" My dad's words to us are, "Now you see how children can be kidnapped," and he goes back to packing. Oh. Yep. I guess that's true. Now I'm a little on edge. Never thought of that before. But I worry that it hurt my mom's feelings that the pole is gone till she says, "Oh well. I'm kind of glad we don't have to worry about packing that thing out." Ok. Good. I'm at piece with the pole again, but still kind of nervous. I feel like gripping my parents' coat tails so no one can take me or my brothers.
BACK TO THE PURPOSE OF THE ARTICLE: So...traditions, I like them...yes. Now we all live in the Idaho area. We hear Idaho Falls has a similar event. So we must try it out and see if we can continue on our tradition. I look forward to Monday!
"Only two traditions??" you say. Well, I started a new one at Easter. We eat hummus on pita bread with tabouli and falafuls on Easter Eve. It's probably not exactly what they ate in bible days, who knows. But we like it and it feels middle eastern to us, so it works. I even created a middle eastern station on Pandora to listen to while we ate.
Birthdays we eat out and get together with the family...
...................I think we need more traditions. I will keep working on that. For me, a tradition has to be meaningful, memorable, and not an over the top amount of work. But once it's a tradition, you HAVE to do it! You can not slack off. That's not fun!
Oh! I know another one! Every 24th of July we gather with Jaron's family to attend the St. Anthony Pioneer day's parade. The floats are amazing!!! Especially for a tiny town like St. Anthony, ID. We usually barbecue after that. I really look forward to that event also. So we do have more than two! I KNEW IT!
Traditions are a kind of glue that can hold a family together and bring us happiness and purpose through our Earthy Journey. We will carry memories with us forever. Making them happen can take sacrifice, time, and effort, but they are AWLAYS worth it!
Many months later...I remembered another tradition I have that I want to record. In place of gifts, I take my nieces and nephews for a treat for their birthday. They are all young, but I hope someday they will know their Aunt Brooke loved and cared about them. I hope my small influence will be for good. This idea came to me when my first niece Morgin was born. Her birth was the closest I had ever been to motherhood. Her birthday is just a few days after Christmas. When she turned 3 I was boggled about what to get her. So I did this instead. Her 4th birthday I gave her a gift (actually easier once I got my own kids!) but for her 5th birthday when I asked her what she wanted, she told me she wanted to go out together for a treat again. It's difficult to make the time for it. And with time, fuel, the cost of the treat for the birthday child, myself and now my children, it's more than I would probably spend on a gift, but I just think you can't put a price on taking time for precious loved ones.
The Fourth of July is just as exciting to me as Christmas! A lot of people think I'm weird, because a lot of people don't do anything big for the fourth. That is okay, but I like my Fourth of July big! Growing up in Vancouver, WA the firework show used to be "The biggest West of the Mississippi!" But funding has gone down and the firework show has dwindled a little, but it's still worth going!!! I am going to speak in past tense as I talk about this because my family now all lives in the Idaho/Utah area. Everybody came from all around the Portland, OR/Vancouver metropolitan area to watch. We would put out blankets in the Fort Vancouver Field on Officer's Row. There would be thousands and thousands of people. We always went early in the afternoon to stake out a spot. My parents were not die hards (some would think we were). We never got shade because they were not willing to go at 9 am. We had friends who did. The atmosphere was full of the grand stand live music bands, craft booths, greasy, yummy fair food (which we never got-too expensive. We brought in a picnic), sky divers with brightly colored parachutes, airplanes writing messages in the air (note: I think that would be so romantic. My husband should do that for me someday), card games, brownies, friends and family. You can not get close parking. We just always planned on lugging a bunch of stuff in at least a mile and packing it all out (chairs, blankets, coolers, umbrellas, coats for night time, etc.).
SIDE NOTE FOR MEMORY LANE: One year my parents bought this really long piece of pvc pipe and spray painted it red, white, and blue. We stuck it in the ground so our friends and family could find us as they came later in the evening. I have such a vivid memory of when the firework show was over. The mass of people were all moving in one direction. We children are waiting for our parents to pack everything up before we begin our journey out. It's like standing still in a river with a current. A tall guy walks by and just grasps the pole and takes it with him. It's gone. I quickly bring it to my dad's attention. My brothers and I are thinking, "Go get it back, Dad!" My dad's words to us are, "Now you see how children can be kidnapped," and he goes back to packing. Oh. Yep. I guess that's true. Now I'm a little on edge. Never thought of that before. But I worry that it hurt my mom's feelings that the pole is gone till she says, "Oh well. I'm kind of glad we don't have to worry about packing that thing out." Ok. Good. I'm at piece with the pole again, but still kind of nervous. I feel like gripping my parents' coat tails so no one can take me or my brothers.
BACK TO THE PURPOSE OF THE ARTICLE: So...traditions, I like them...yes. Now we all live in the Idaho area. We hear Idaho Falls has a similar event. So we must try it out and see if we can continue on our tradition. I look forward to Monday!
"Only two traditions??" you say. Well, I started a new one at Easter. We eat hummus on pita bread with tabouli and falafuls on Easter Eve. It's probably not exactly what they ate in bible days, who knows. But we like it and it feels middle eastern to us, so it works. I even created a middle eastern station on Pandora to listen to while we ate.
Birthdays we eat out and get together with the family...
...................I think we need more traditions. I will keep working on that. For me, a tradition has to be meaningful, memorable, and not an over the top amount of work. But once it's a tradition, you HAVE to do it! You can not slack off. That's not fun!
Oh! I know another one! Every 24th of July we gather with Jaron's family to attend the St. Anthony Pioneer day's parade. The floats are amazing!!! Especially for a tiny town like St. Anthony, ID. We usually barbecue after that. I really look forward to that event also. So we do have more than two! I KNEW IT!
Traditions are a kind of glue that can hold a family together and bring us happiness and purpose through our Earthy Journey. We will carry memories with us forever. Making them happen can take sacrifice, time, and effort, but they are AWLAYS worth it!
Many months later...I remembered another tradition I have that I want to record. In place of gifts, I take my nieces and nephews for a treat for their birthday. They are all young, but I hope someday they will know their Aunt Brooke loved and cared about them. I hope my small influence will be for good. This idea came to me when my first niece Morgin was born. Her birth was the closest I had ever been to motherhood. Her birthday is just a few days after Christmas. When she turned 3 I was boggled about what to get her. So I did this instead. Her 4th birthday I gave her a gift (actually easier once I got my own kids!) but for her 5th birthday when I asked her what she wanted, she told me she wanted to go out together for a treat again. It's difficult to make the time for it. And with time, fuel, the cost of the treat for the birthday child, myself and now my children, it's more than I would probably spend on a gift, but I just think you can't put a price on taking time for precious loved ones.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Things Are Tight
Has money ever been tight at your house? It has been, IS as ours right now. Or is it? I have wished for more money many times in my life. "If I had more money I would completely decorate my house, put my kids in more extra-curriculars, cook organic meals, maintain vehicles according to manufacturer's recommendations, dress with more style, take memorable family vacations, have more consistent date nights with my husband, never let my highlighted hair show the roots growing out, complete the landscape in my yard, lets see...what else, I know there's more. Oh, I know, have more kids, keep my house cleaner because I would have time since I wouldn't have to work, be more organized since I could afford more organizing units in my house, print anything I wanted in full color, stay up to date on scrapbooks because I could print off all of my digital albums, always have a house full of music since I could afford to buy what I wanted from i tunes, be more well read from all the books downloaded to my Kindle. Okay, maybe I should stop there. Perhaps I should have stopped earlier, now I feel like I'm murmuring.
The summer I left before college my parents took us on a family vacation to San Diego. This wasn't the first time. PAUSE:
Tribute to my dad. My dad is a GIS Specialist and whenever he can, he tries to attend the annual GIS conference held in San Diego every July. Dad would take the allotted money his job budgeted in for him to fly, eat, and lodge in a nice hotel, and stretched it as far as he could to take his family along. This meant driving for two days straight with three whiny kids in cars that would overheat in the California desert where he would walk to the nearest aquifer to scoop water to dump in the engine. It meant dealing with all kinds of disruptions to personal peace and enjoyment coming from the back seat such as fighting, puking, complaining, nagging for station changes, and loud and obnoxious games. All to offer us a dream come true of warm beaches, DisneyLand, Sea World, San Diego Zoo, and memories that will last a life time.
RESUME: The summer of 1999 (I had just graduated high school) my brothers and I got a new experience with our family San Diego trip. My dad walked us across the boarder into Tijuana, Mexico. This was my first experience with poverty of this extremity. The smell, putrid. The filth, everywhere. The pieces of tin leaned together to make houses. Women and babies slunched against buildings and roadsides. I woke up. Never in my life had I been conscientiously thankful for a bed and clean sheets, but I now was. I'd never been hungry because food is just plain not available to me. I'd never gotten sick from drinking the water that comes from my sink....I HAD SINKS! A new realization for me: everybody doesn't have indoor plumbing?
I haven't been to another place like that in my life since, but I have read about hunger and poverty. I've seen it in the media and I know first hand that it exists. So maybe it's time for me to re-evaluate what I would do if I had more money. And even if we never do win the lottery, I believe its the intention of my heart that matters. So tonight I acknowledge that I live in great prosperity. I have a bed, a home, food, computers with internet, cars, carpet, plumbing, windows that easily open and close, PAUSE:
Before we built our house we lived in a little 30 year old single wide mobile home. Every summer, we would have to take out all the winter windows and exchange them for screens so we could open windows in the summer. It was a huge pain. Our little poopy green trailer also had constant mice problems, no dryer heat vent outlet so the entire house would steam up when we ran the dryer (very frustrating in the hot summer), absolutely not storage space, no dishwasher, no oven (baked EVERYTHING in a counter top roaster including Savannah's first birthday cake, takes twice as long, everyone came for the celebration, cake still not done baking. Hi.). It all was but a moment and makes me much more thankful for my home now.
RESUME: means to add income to our household from home, medicines, grass, trees, garbage service. This is a list that SHOULD go on and on. So let me keep going, a deep freezer, a kitchen table, heat, more shoes than I can count in my head, 4 or 5 warm winter coats, cell phone, kindle, i pods, first aide products, clean water, tvs, wii, lots of food on storage shelves, full refrigerator, piano, concrete around house, garden shed, and many more things, but it is 11:30 pm and my eyes are beginning to droop, so I need to get to bed.
I didn't even mention the things I'm grateful for that truly have meaning like my family, religion, free country. But the next time I think about "being tight," I will also think that some people in the world live with so much less and are happy.
The summer I left before college my parents took us on a family vacation to San Diego. This wasn't the first time. PAUSE:
Tribute to my dad. My dad is a GIS Specialist and whenever he can, he tries to attend the annual GIS conference held in San Diego every July. Dad would take the allotted money his job budgeted in for him to fly, eat, and lodge in a nice hotel, and stretched it as far as he could to take his family along. This meant driving for two days straight with three whiny kids in cars that would overheat in the California desert where he would walk to the nearest aquifer to scoop water to dump in the engine. It meant dealing with all kinds of disruptions to personal peace and enjoyment coming from the back seat such as fighting, puking, complaining, nagging for station changes, and loud and obnoxious games. All to offer us a dream come true of warm beaches, DisneyLand, Sea World, San Diego Zoo, and memories that will last a life time.
RESUME: The summer of 1999 (I had just graduated high school) my brothers and I got a new experience with our family San Diego trip. My dad walked us across the boarder into Tijuana, Mexico. This was my first experience with poverty of this extremity. The smell, putrid. The filth, everywhere. The pieces of tin leaned together to make houses. Women and babies slunched against buildings and roadsides. I woke up. Never in my life had I been conscientiously thankful for a bed and clean sheets, but I now was. I'd never been hungry because food is just plain not available to me. I'd never gotten sick from drinking the water that comes from my sink....I HAD SINKS! A new realization for me: everybody doesn't have indoor plumbing?
I haven't been to another place like that in my life since, but I have read about hunger and poverty. I've seen it in the media and I know first hand that it exists. So maybe it's time for me to re-evaluate what I would do if I had more money. And even if we never do win the lottery, I believe its the intention of my heart that matters. So tonight I acknowledge that I live in great prosperity. I have a bed, a home, food, computers with internet, cars, carpet, plumbing, windows that easily open and close, PAUSE:
Before we built our house we lived in a little 30 year old single wide mobile home. Every summer, we would have to take out all the winter windows and exchange them for screens so we could open windows in the summer. It was a huge pain. Our little poopy green trailer also had constant mice problems, no dryer heat vent outlet so the entire house would steam up when we ran the dryer (very frustrating in the hot summer), absolutely not storage space, no dishwasher, no oven (baked EVERYTHING in a counter top roaster including Savannah's first birthday cake, takes twice as long, everyone came for the celebration, cake still not done baking. Hi.). It all was but a moment and makes me much more thankful for my home now.
RESUME: means to add income to our household from home, medicines, grass, trees, garbage service. This is a list that SHOULD go on and on. So let me keep going, a deep freezer, a kitchen table, heat, more shoes than I can count in my head, 4 or 5 warm winter coats, cell phone, kindle, i pods, first aide products, clean water, tvs, wii, lots of food on storage shelves, full refrigerator, piano, concrete around house, garden shed, and many more things, but it is 11:30 pm and my eyes are beginning to droop, so I need to get to bed.
I didn't even mention the things I'm grateful for that truly have meaning like my family, religion, free country. But the next time I think about "being tight," I will also think that some people in the world live with so much less and are happy.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
The Window Frame
I love photography. I have a camera, I try. I'm not a photographer. I CAN appreciate good photography, however. I have no training. I identify a great photograph when I look and all the sudden I feel something. It's as if my heart is a small puddle and a finger has gently tapped it, causing a ripple effect. I continue to stare and feel a connection to the moment captured.
Looking out a window can be like seeing a great picture. From different places in a room, the window frames different aspects of the world outside. Sitting upstairs in my family room, I can see framed an early morning, periwinkle sky with an expanse of slate blue clouds stationed at the bottom half of the window. Through another window a distant section of the Rocky Mountains boarders a farm just sprouting with green grain. The open window to my right is completely filled with tree trunks and leaves, which i can hear rustling in the breeze. Between the trees I can catch a peek at our neighbors large anitque wood barn, dilapitated, leaning, but beautiful in it's element.
Life gives us lots of windows. Windows of the world are always easy to find. They are big. They promise thrill and excitement, but are often not windows at all, but only illusions. Perhaps the windows we should spend the most time gazing through are quieter and not as prominent. Search. Be deliberate in choosing to find the windows that offer views of things that are most important such as building strong families, solidifying faith, and giving relief to those who are struggling. I find these windows through reading good literature (including scripture), being in nature, nurturing and serving my family, freely forgiving others, praying, and being in tune with ways I can reach out and lift people. In the end I hope my life is full of framed moments of integrity, love, work, and compassion with my family in every frame.
Looking out a window can be like seeing a great picture. From different places in a room, the window frames different aspects of the world outside. Sitting upstairs in my family room, I can see framed an early morning, periwinkle sky with an expanse of slate blue clouds stationed at the bottom half of the window. Through another window a distant section of the Rocky Mountains boarders a farm just sprouting with green grain. The open window to my right is completely filled with tree trunks and leaves, which i can hear rustling in the breeze. Between the trees I can catch a peek at our neighbors large anitque wood barn, dilapitated, leaning, but beautiful in it's element.
Life gives us lots of windows. Windows of the world are always easy to find. They are big. They promise thrill and excitement, but are often not windows at all, but only illusions. Perhaps the windows we should spend the most time gazing through are quieter and not as prominent. Search. Be deliberate in choosing to find the windows that offer views of things that are most important such as building strong families, solidifying faith, and giving relief to those who are struggling. I find these windows through reading good literature (including scripture), being in nature, nurturing and serving my family, freely forgiving others, praying, and being in tune with ways I can reach out and lift people. In the end I hope my life is full of framed moments of integrity, love, work, and compassion with my family in every frame.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)